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Gamers love a real challenge, and Devs are out to provide it. But, there’s always Easy Mode to help you get a feel of the game before maddening Bosses and fiendish twists kill you more times than Sean Bean’s next 14 movie roles. Not these guys. They actually b**chslap you for taking the Easy way out. Here’s how…
Ninja Gaiden Black
Perhaps the game that actually started the “permanently dead” trend, the original Ninja Gaiden faced backlash and howls of disapproval from even the most die-hard gamers who found it to be nearly impossible to beat in 2004. The following year, Ninja Gaiden Black was the response, with a ridiculously Easy Mode that a child could overcome. Point made…
Launched originally as a PC/CD-Rom, Earthworm Jim was notoriously difficult for its day. But there’s only so much you can fit on a disk, so Easy Mode ends up locking you out of the final stages as the game’s developer taunts you with a video of lame jokes and made up EJ “trivia.” Ah, the old days…
50 Cent: Blood in the Sand
As if playing any game as 50 Cent wasn’t humiliating enough, dying in Easy Mode on 50 Cent: Blood in the Sand earns you “Not Bulletproof” status. Ouch!
Monkey Island 2
The devs for Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge have such disdain for lazy slackers, they’ve renamed Easy Mode on MI2 “Lite” and the select option is labeled “I’ve never played an Adventure Game before. I’m Scared!”
Twisted Metal 2
TM2 takes the bloody carnage of Twisted Metal to an entirely new level, where the idea is to crash and burn as violently (and stupidly) as you can, Paul Walker-style. Easy Mode screeches to a halt at the end of Stage 1 with a big, red STOP sign, arrogantly proclaiming “No losers allowed beyond this point!” Time to change those Pirellis!
Streets of Rage 3
Beating Robot X in Stage 5 of Easy Mode in Streets Of Rage 3 prompts the android to utter these dying words: “You play like a beginner.” It then locks you out of the final stages, forcing you to jump up a notch or quit. What new devilry is this?
The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile
The dripping derision for lazy or inept gamers in this gritty, extremely bloody and difficult game is so palpable, it’s programmed to prompt you to play Easy Mode if you die one too many times. How? By asking if you’d prefer to play the “Pretty Princess Difficulty” version. Yikes!
Castle of Illusion
At the lowest end of the spectrum, Mickey Mouse: Castle of Illusion is nothing more than a sick joke in Easy Mode with Bosses just standing there doing nothing and players just walking right past. It’s so lazy, it only includes the first three levels. Walt is probably turning over in his cryogenic freezer…
It’s not playing or beating Easy Mode on Civilization that’s so humiliating. It’s the name calling. No matter your tally, or your handle, the game switches out your name to some of the biggest failures in history. Unless you can stomach being compared to Warren G. Harding or even an earless Vincent Van Gogh, just skip it entirely and try for historical immortality instead. Nah. It’s just too hard…